All Eyes On Me.

Definitely NOT a good thing when you are walking in saddar.

I was walking through the electronic market, looking for my car. I stopped in front of this phone repair shop and heard this SENILE man say loudly to his friend Hayeeee Aaj toh lagta hai roza kharaab hojayega.

I turned around and they were looking at me.

Living in Karachi, I guess you get so used to this kind of thing that you even stop noticing things like this.

Because when the guy said this out to his friend, instead of being creeped out, offended or repulsed by men in general, I found myself wondering why he was fasting two months after Ramzan was over.

And what he was going to have for iftari.

Those Shoes Are Mine, Betch.

Yesterday I dressed up for a formal event. I was really tired after not having slept the night before and having been out ALL day working, studying, multitasking and what not. All I wanted to do was lie down in my room and pass out.

Instead, I decided to make my life miserable. Yay!

My cousin offered to lend me her shoes for the event. She has some seriously sexy shoes. The sadness of the situation was that I was two sizes too big for them.

But ofcourse THAT silly little fact didnt stop us from fitting my giant feet into the shoes.

Shoes with a heel of five and a half inches (why yes, I measured)

Now, I am just like any other girl who will wear high heels, smile through the excruciating pain and be alright. I love heels and thats that.

But this was different. Apparently an inch can make you redefine the term 'excruciating'.

Apparently a size or two down, your shoes can almost be the unfortunate cause of your death.

There was no blood supply to my feet. Or so I like to think in my overdramatic head. Saying that it 'hurt' is the biggest understatement ever made. I could feel a little part of my feet dying. If my feet could speak, they would have been yelling 'YOU SADISTIC BITCH, WE ARE WALKING OUT ON YOU THE MINUTE YOU GET US OUT OF HERE'

And I hadnt even reached the venue at that point.

My dad stopped at the entrance of Marriot and told me to get off and go up while he parked

the car. Daughterly love made me go 'Nooo.. I want to go up with you'

Probably should have thought that through.

My dad drove on and I could feel my heart sink with every turn of the wheel.

We drove past cars. No parking.

We turned. No parking.

We drove to the end of that lane. No parking.

We drove out of the hotel premises (and I am thinking WTF NO NO NOOOO!)

We turned. OH MY GOD.

We drove to the end of some STREET and finally parked the car.

FML.

The next five minutes I walked.

My unconsious has repressed that memory for obvious reasons.

Finally I made it to the hall where I was supposed to be.

I CAN FINALLY SIT. OMG YES. OMG.

A few people came up to me and said 'I love your shoesss!'

YEAH, YOU BETTER.

From now on I am ONLY sticking to comfortable shoes.

You know, the four and a half inch heel ones.

Kick Me When I'm High.

Me: um, ma’am? I wanted to talk to you about leaves for the AIESEC conference. See there is…
Ma’am: No leaves.
Me: oh. Um.

Now I am awkwardly standing in the middle of her room, wondering if I should argue or just leave. If I leave, i get no leaves. If I don’t, I will piss her off. And shes not nice to people who piss her off. See, the thing about this woman is that she can easily make you want to have the ground swallow you whole with the way she insults you in public. And she will insult you in public. I just do not want to give her a reason to. Dont get me wrong, I think shes pretty cool. I just dont want to look like an idiot infront of her.

But I am pretty sure I do.

Me: but.. um.. see, woh, er.. the conference.. and absences.. and..

She looks up from her desk. Oh no.

Ma’am: There are no leaves. Leave now.

Me: yes ma’am.

Ma’am: wait.. She looks at me for a second. You had a good paper.

Me: huh? what? What paper?

I have like NO idea what she is talking about. It cannot be my last exam paper because that was a product of a very long sleeples and highly eventful night. That paper made no sense to me whatsoever. So if my answers made any sense to her, then.. um, bravo?

Ma’am: Hourly wala paper. Aur kaunsa paper. Look. There. Kya answers likhay hain.

She points to a stack of papers. I think she wants me to take mine out. This doesn’t sound good at all.

Me: er.. ma’am.. are you being.. sarcastic?

I am nervous. She rolls her eyes.

Ma’am: no, im serious. I think you are on the path to enlightenment.

She makes a dramatic hand gesture. At this point I am almost sure she is making fun of me. I don’t know if I should laugh or be ashamed of myself. She then goes on to explain why she actually did like my answers.

Ma'am: Very good. I think your last answer was very good.

Dammmmnnn. She actually did think my answers were good. She made a smiley face on my paper and all. This is so cool! I cant stop grinning.

Me: Really? So… I passed?

She smiles at me

Ma'am: Haha, Dont be silly. Ofcourse not.

Technologic

1:00 pm: Listening to music on my phone during class. What is the probability I will pass this statistics course? I would know if I were paying attention.

1:20 pm: Phone says 'Accessory Not Supported' when I plug in the headphones-really? Well, you didnt have a problem supporting the accessory yesterday. or the day before. Why the sudden change of mind? Phone, I do not understand you.

2:40 pm: Im fighting with the electronics man, trying to make him believe that the headphones i bought off him never really worked. We argue for a while and then he stops even looking at me. Sigh. Fail.

2:50 pm: I HAVE A NEW LAPTOP CHARGER! YAYYYY. Finally. I havent turned on my laptop for three days now.

5:00 pm: um.. why isnt this charger working? WHY ARENT YOU WORKING?! I HAVE A SUBMISSION TOMORROW AND ALL MY WORK IS ON THE LAPTOP. ARGHH.

6:00 pm: Electricity is out. Oh well.

7:00 pm: Electricity is back. Okay the charger really doesnt work.

9:00 pm: Phones dying. Cant find chargerrr

10:30 pm: Cant find phone.

11:00 pm: Cant find anything. WHY ISNT THE ELECTRICITY BACK?!

12:45 am: UPS dies.

1:00 am: Maybe I should try calling my phone. YEAH. I walk over to the landline. Phones dead. SERIOUSLY?

1:01 am: I'll try calling from Niapis phone. Its out of battery.

FML.

Blackholes And Revelations

Things I discovered this week

1) Sleep deprivation makes you do things you usually wouldn’t.

2) Sleep deprivation is awesome.

3) Sleep deprivation can screw with your head and drive you insane.

4) Sleep deprivation is still pretty awesome, crazy REM and shaking hands aside.

5) My will power has evolved.

6) The universe is my friend.

7) High heels are not.

8) High heels are awesome.

9) Upstairs, things slow down and make sense.

10) I can always find something to obsess about. Heeh.

11) New obsessions always find me at the right time.

12) Time does not exist when I go out to shop.

13) I CANT WAIT FOR NYDS 2010 – WOOH (okay, this one wasn’t a discovery.. but it had to be mentioned somewhere)

14) I don’t mind sharing my room.

15) Peri peri is a lifesaver

Goodbye awesome, AWESOME week. Seven days of pure nonstop insanity (not necessarily the good kind that I have gotten used to) have come to an end. I fare thee well.